Today I am writing some free-flowing thoughts.
I’ve wanted to do a Daily Post for awhile and this one seemed too good to pass up. I do a lot of reflection when I feel out of my element somewhere and lately I’m feeling a little unbalanced all over the place. I’m ok with it right now, I enjoy periods of uncertainty to an extent because I generally come out of them with “OK, that’s something/someone/somewhere I do not enjoy so I won’t do that again.”
What are my foreign feelings at the moment? I’ll do a list.
- I haven’t been playing tennis this winter so the last few weekends I’ve been back on the court, I feel like a Bambi learning how to walk while holding a long pole above my head with birds zooming at my face all while trying not to swat my partners with my racket. Normally, I’m actually pretty decent in tennis.
- Sometimes, I just don’t know German. I go weeks at a time feeling fab confident when I come across umlauts, and then I will wake up one day and not have a clue how to order a black coffee at the cafe. Let alone participate meaningfully in meetings at work. This is one of those times.
- Sometimes, I also don’t English very good. I think my brain occasionally misfires because I am not 6 years old anymore and soaking up knowledge like a sponge. So it stops information from flowing while it quietly resets itself in the background..
- When I struggle with language, I struggle with culture, I struggle with connecting and then the struggle infects the rest of my life. I start to feel out of my element, nothing comes natural anymore, everything has a level of stress to it which shouldn’t be there.
- So, at the moment, I struggle with some foreign “I don’t know what I’m doing or where I belong” thoughts. I’m turning more towards photography than writing to focus my energy a bit in at least one direction. Luckily, I’ve opened my windows this morning because spring is coming (one more week of forecasted snow coming up but still) and change always jump starts my lack of direction into one of focus and excitement.
What’s not a struggle right now?
- I did make some awesome things happen at work, we’ve got plans and to-do lists for weeks now, exciting.
- After months of working and refining, the fridge is no longer a trap for food to die in, it’s very minimal and holds only what we’ll eat. Which at the moment is milk and half a butternut squash so we maaaay have gone overboard. Plenty o room for more granola bites now.
- Loving my camera
- Perfecting my short hand note taking style to include some German words and phrases to make things easier on my colleagues
- I’m mulling over some ideas of how the grounds could look at the church next year. I’m not a green thumb but I’m surrounded by people who are which is inspiring.
In conclusion, there is no conclusion, but thanks for reading. This is my 50th post however, so that’s pretty cool.